When is it safe to orgasm after giving birth
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Created with Nataliia Yermolovych, MD, Obstetrician-Gynecologist
Having orgasm or sex after giving birth depends on your body’s healing and when you can comfortably do so without experiencing excessive pain.
Healthcare providers typically recommend waiting for two to six weeks after delivery to resume sexual activity, as the initial days after birth are risky for vaginal and uterine infections.
But, as every woman’s recovery is unique, the timing can vary, and it is best to consult your healthcare provider for personalized advice.
So, when is it safe to orgasm after giving birth? The answer is whenever your body feels comfortable and ready!
It’s totally okay to feel low, experience discomfort during sex, or not have the same sexual desire or energy as before you gave birth. This is because your body is healing from the changes and stressors it encountered—and that’s normal. A few weeks or a couple of months from now, your energy, motivation, and desire for sex will return as your body recovers.
Mood changes and hormonal shifts are all part of the postpartum journey, so remember, you are exactly where you need to be. Be gentle with yourself, and celebrate your remarkable achievement of bringing a new life to the world!
With that, it’s normal to have concerns about having sex or achieving orgasm after childbirth. In this article, we will discuss the optimal and recommended timeline for resuming sexual activity after giving birth, along with general safety guidelines.
Understanding postpartum recovery
When a newborn enters your life, you may prefer sleep over sex, and that’s okay. You deserve to take your time getting comfortable with the hormonal, physical, and emotional changes of having a baby, as well as the new routine of caring for a newborn. You’ll also need time to heal from the taxing physical process of birth, whether you had a C-section or vaginal delivery.
In a C-section, your doctor makes a 10-cm cut in your abdomen and uterus. So, the recovery may take a bit longer than vaginal delivery, and your doctor may advise you to avoid strenuous activities, like sex, for around six weeks after your C-section.
During vaginal delivery, you may experience perineal tears, skin changes, or vaginal stretches—with or without stitches—which may take time to heal, affecting your sexual activity.
All of these factors, including physical healing, emotional recovery, and individual circumstances like your personal life, house responsibilities, or adjustment with the baby, can affect your readiness for sex.
Everything you face after delivery is normal and a part of life that will eventually settle down, so nothing to worry about!
When is it safe to orgasm after giving birth?
So, how long after birth can you have sex, and when is it safe? As every pregnancy is unique, the healing process may vary, too. So, the best guideline of when it’s safe to orgasm is when your body feels ready and you don’t feel pain or excessive discomfort in resuming sexual intercourse.
The recommended timeline to have sex after giving birth is around two to six weeks postpartum, but it can vary depending on your health and speed of recovery.
It’s ideal to consult your healthcare provider for personalized advice on resuming sexual activity after delivery, as they can advise you based on your individual health condition and recovery.
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Sex after birth: What to expect
After giving birth, your body goes through physical and emotional changes that can affect your sexual experience and pleasure. These changes are a normal part of the postpartum journey, and it’s okay to take your time and let your body recover.
Remember, you have your entire life ahead to enjoy sex, but this is the time to give your body the relaxation it deserves.
In this section, we will discuss what to expect while having sex after birth and how to minimize discomfort and enhance your sexual pleasure during or after postpartum.
Symptoms that affect postpartum sex
The following are the common physical and emotional symptoms that may affect sex or make it unpleasant after birth:
- Vaginal dryness, soreness, discharge, or pain;
- Perineal discomfort;
- Hormonal shifts that can cause mood swings;
- Backaches;
- Breast soreness or discomfort;
- Pain and numbness at the incision or stitches site.
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How to minimize sexual discomfort after birth
Here is how you can naturally minimize discomfort or pain while having sex after giving birth:
1. Take things slowly
To minimize sexual discomfort after giving birth, the best approach is to take things slowly. If you don’t feel ready for intercourse, there is no need to rush or be hard on yourself, as this is totally normal and nothing to worry about.
Take a deep breath, relax, and remind yourself that this phase is temporary. You have just embraced a lifelong accomplishment you should be proud of.
2. Start with other intimate acts
You can start with cuddles, kisses, hugs, and romantic talks with your partner.
Plan a movie night or a candlelight dinner, and pamper each other with intimate things.
3. Open communication
Openly communicate with your partner how you feel and what your body desires. Your comfort with certain touches, acts, and positions during sex might have changed, and that’s normal. This is a great time to explore and experiment with what feels comfortable and brings you pleasure.
4. Slow penetration and using lubrication
As you plan to proceed to intercourse, you can use lubricants and opt for slow penetration to minimize pain and let your body adjust to it or desire sex naturally.
Sex 3 weeks postpartum: is it too soon?
Some healthcare providers recommend waiting two to six weeks for sex after giving birth. This is because during this period, you are still bleeding, and penetrative sex may increase the risk of uterine infection or bleeding. Having sex three weeks postpartum mainly depends on your body’s healing and the recommendations of your doctor.
If you are unsure about your body’s healing and whether you should have sex or not, it is ideal to ask your healthcare provider if your body is ready to resume sexual activity. They will guide you based on your individual condition.
If you feel ready for sex three weeks after your delivery, it’s important to be gentle and attentive to your body’s signals, and stop if you feel pain during sex. Moreover, it is recommended to use protection to prevent vaginal or uterine infections.
Questions from the Femia community:
What if I experience pain during sex after giving birth?
If you experience pain during sex after giving birth, it means that your body is still healing from birth-related stressors and might not be ready for sex now. Experiencing pain during sex in the first few months of giving birth is normal.
You should take your time, move on with things gradually, and ensure that you use sufficient lubrication during sex. With that, try not to have sex if you feel pain. You can also consult your healthcare provider to address any concerns or discomfort.
Is it normal to have a decreased sex drive postpartum?
Yes, it's normal to have a decreased sex drive during postpartum. Research of the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Rambam Medical Center shows that sexual function decreases during pregnancy and may return to normal after the postpartum period.
This is because your body is going through physical and hormonal changes, experiencing a lack of sleep or postpartum depression, and adjusting to the new routine with the baby, which all may contribute to decreased sex drive.
Studies suggest that decreased libido typically lasts for the first six months up to one year postpartum.
How can I talk to my partner about resuming sex after birth?
You can choose a time when your partner is free or actively listening to communicate your feelings. Be open with your partner about your expectations, concerns, and comfort regarding sex after birth, plus what feels good or what doesn't.
The bottom line
Bringing a new life into the world isn’t easy, and you have done it remarkably! So, now it’s time to let your body recover, and enjoy the precious moments with your newborn. Sex and orgasm can wait, so try not to have sex until at least two to three weeks after giving birth, and give your body the rest and relaxation it deserves.
If you have sex that involves penetration immediately after giving birth, it may increase the risk of infections and cause pain and discomfort. It is generally recommended to wait two to six weeks postpartum for sex, but the timing can vary depending on your health, as every woman’s recovery is unique.
After three weeks postpartum, you can consult your healthcare provider to ask whether it’s safe to resume sexual activity or not. Moreover, remember to use lubrication, be gentle with yourself, and take things slowly. You got this!
References
- Gutzeit, Ola, et al. “Postpartum Female Sexual Function: Risk Factors for Postpartum Sexual Dysfunction.” Sexual Medicine, vol. 8, no. 1, Dec. 2019, pp. 8–13. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.esxm.2019.10.005.
- “Sex After Pregnancy: Set Your Own Timeline.” Mayo Clinic, 26 Mar. 2024, www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/labor-and-delivery/in-depth/sex-after-pregnancy/art-20045669.
- Clinic, Cleveland. “What You Should Know About Postpartum Sex.” Cleveland Clinic, 9 July 2024, https://health.clevelandclinic.org/sex-after-birth.
- Neupert, Benjamin. “Sex After Birth.” American Pregnancy Association, 13 June 2022, https://americanpregnancy.org/healthy-pregnancy/first-year-of-life/sex-after-birth/.
- Rupp, Heather A., et al. “Lower Sexual Interest in Postpartum Women: Relationship to Amygdala Activation and Intranasal Oxytocin.” Hormones and Behavior, vol. 63, no. 1, Jan. 2013, pp. 114–21. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.yhbeh.2012.10.007.
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