Can you squirt after menopause? The ultimate guide to sex and orgasms after menopause

Illustration of a woman representing having an orgasm after menopause.
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Created with Nataliia Yermolovych, MD, Obstetrician-Gynecologist

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In a nutshell

Physical changes like decreased lubrication may cause discomfort during sex. While this stage generally affects your sexual life, you can still have sex, orgasm and squirt after menopause. Honest communication with a partner, proper lubrication and symptom treatment, prolonged foreplay, and exploration may all help mitigate the symptoms and help you achieve squirting.

So, can a woman have an orgasm after menopause? The short answer is “yes.” Despite changes in your sexuality, life during and after menopause can still include satisfying sexual experiences if you educate yourself about the changes you’re going through and learn how to address them effectively.

In this guide, we’ll tell you more about this stage of your life, the changes it brings, and the effects it has on your sexual function. You will also find tips on how to improve your sex life and receive pleasure.

Understanding menopause and sexual health

Sex matters to women’s health, and maintaining healthy sexual activity as you get older can provide a variety of benefits. Sex helps support vaginal health, reduce heart attack risk, and promote overall well-being. Plus, regular sex can help support your ability to orgasm and ejaculate. However, menopause brings many changes and challenges to how women experience sex.

Menopause is a natural stage of female aging that marks the end of menstrual cycles and counts down from 12 months after the last period. It typically begins between 45 and 55 years, though it can begin earlier and result from other reasons, including genetics, surgeries, etc.

Menopause is associated with significant physical and hormonal changes in a woman’s body. The symptoms might vary, and their intensity may fluctuate at different stages of your life; however, the primary changes can be divided into two categories:

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What is squirting?

Squirting, often referred to as female ejaculation, is a phenomenon where some women release a fluid from the urethra during sexual arousal or orgasm. This fluid isn’t urine; rather, it comes from the Skene’s glands, which are located near the urethra and sometimes called the “female prostate.”
The composition of the squirting fluid is still a topic of research, but it’s generally considered a mix of fluid similar to prostate secretions and a bit of urine. The key takeaway is that squirting is a natural bodily response that some women have during sexual pleasure, and it’s nothing to be worried or embarrassed about.

Can you squirt after menopause?

Squirting is an expulsion of fluid from the urethra caused by sexual activity. The fluid builds up through stimulation of the G-spot and releases at the peak of pleasure, providing a strong feeling of relief. Although it’s often associated with an orgasm, studies say that squirting only comes with orgasm in 20% of women. That is, it’s not necessarily accompanied by an orgasm, but it can be another way to experience arousal and pleasure during intercourse.

👉Find out more: Understanding squirting: What it is, what it feels like, and how to do it

So, can you squirt after menopause? Squirting occurs through the function of the urethral sponge, which secretes lubricating fluid into the urethra. The urethral sponge doesn’t lose its function after menopause, which means that squirting might still be possible, though the hormonal and physical changes you experience might cause certain difficulties.

The primary factors that may influence your ability to squirt include thinner and more delicate vaginal tissues, stress, and medications. These factors can affect both the frequency and intensity of squirting.

Can a woman have an orgasm after menopause?

There are many myths and stigmas about sex after menopause. Let’s debunk some widespread beliefs:

  • Myth 1: your sexual life is over after menopause. Some believe that the beginning of menopause marks the end of sexual function. However, surveys reveal that many people continue their sexual life throughout their senior years—half of women remain sexually active in their 50s, and 27% report remaining active in their 70s[3].
  • Myth 2: your sexual drive and response are lost. Libido might decrease after menopause due to changed hormonal levels, as well as due to other emotional and physical changes, such as mood swings, less energy, discomfort during intercourse, etc. As for sexual response, the blood supply to the clitoris and lower vagina may decrease, leading to lower sensitivity. However, none of this means that drive and sensitivity are completely lost. In fact, only 23% of menopausal women find sex not pleasurable, and this is mostly related to the aforementioned physical and emotional state, which can be changed through exploration, communication, healthy lifestyle, and other techniques.

So, what’s the reality? Can a woman orgasm after menopause? The answer is “yes.” Females in their menopausal stage can remain sexually active and receive pleasure. 

What impact on orgasm after menopause

The physical ability to orgasm doesn’t vanish over the years, though it may be somewhat altered. The key factors that might make it more troublesome to receive orgasms include:

  • Reduced blood flow and sensitivity;
  • Vaginal dryness and lower elasticity;
  • Medication;
  • Mental health issues;
  • Altered body image and self-esteem;
  • Changed relationship dynamics;
  • Overall health condition.

During and after menopause, the things you find pleasurable might change, and orgasms might take a bit more work to achieve. These challenges can also make things more difficult, but when addressed correctly, there are ways to combat them and maintain a healthy sex life.  Communicating with your partner and exploring your changed sexuality together can help you have better, more frequent sex that focuses on deep emotional connection and intimacy rather than on drive alone.

👉Find out more: Can you get pregnant during perimenopause

How to reach orgasm and squirt after menopause

Achieving orgasm after menopause is possible, but it might require some preparation and effort. Here are several tips that might help you increase pleasure:

  • Communication with a partner. By being honest about your feelings, needs, preferences, and sexual challenges, you can find a compromise and explore potential solutions together. In the long run, open communication and experimentation can lead to better sexual life and satisfaction. 
  • Lubrication. According to surveys, 39% of females in menopause name challenges with natural vaginal lubrication as the second biggest issue[5] in their sexual life. Decreased lubrication can cause discomfort and pain during sex. The thinning of the vaginal walls can make them easy to damage. To overcome these issues, consider using water-based and silicone-based lubricants but keeping away from oil-based products, which may increase irritation. Other options include topical estrogen, ospemifene (osphena), dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA), or vaginal moisturizers. A healthcare provider can help you select the optimal solution for vaginal dryness.
Illustration of a lubricant being applied on a pink flower.
  • Stimulation techniques. When your sexual needs change after menopause, the most straightforward way to rediscover yourself is through exploration. You and your partner can consider experimentation with different foreplays, intercourse types, erotic videos or books, and other routines. You may also want to try different stimulation techniques, such as clitoral, G-spot, and full-body massages. By doing this through masturbation or with your partner, you can find what feels right for you and improve your sex life.
  • Sexual aids and toys. Sexual devices are designed to stimulate arousal and offer prolonged pleasure, so menopausal women who have issues with sensitivity and orgasms might find them helpful. For example, vibrators and dildos can help create additional, more intense stimulation for various erogenous zones to create a stronger sexual response. Aids like a clitoral therapy device can help improve blood flow and also enhance pleasure. Consider exploring the available aids to support your orgasms.
  • Exploration and experimentation. As your body, hormones, and sexuality change, so do your needs and preferences in sex. Due to this, an open-minded process of exploration and experimentation is pivotal. Consider trying different positions, locations, and fantasies to bring something fresh to your sexual life and regain your sex drive. 
  • Focus on foreplay. Due to decreased sexual drive and mental obstacles like changed self-esteem, arousal might be a bit harder to achieve than it was before. Prolonged foreplay that considers your individual preferences can help achieve a sense of relaxation, comfort, and arousal, which are important for an orgasm.
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Sex after menopause tips

Despite deep inner changes and possible complications, it’s possible to have a healthy sex life— and even better sex—after menopause.

Here are some key tips to help you improve your sexual life after menopause:

  • Staying connected to a partner. Staying open with your partner, discussing your sex life, and otherwise maintaining emotional and physical intimacy can help maintain a healthy dynamic in your relationship and greatly assist in exploring new ways of receiving pleasure.
  • Maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Proper diet, sleep, and other attributes of a healthy lifestyle can affect your mental and physical health, contributing to positive changes in other fields of life, including your sexuality. Regular exercising deserves a separate mention, as it is linked to improved blood flow, which can boost sensitivity and libido.
  • Seeking professional help. If you want to take your menopausal sex to the next level, consulting a healthcare provider or sex therapist can help you explore additional treatment opportunities for improving your sexual life. For example, a specialist might suggest the optimal remedy for vaginal dryness or recommend hormone replacement therapy (HRT) to balance your hormones and help deal with menopausal symptoms.

Questions from the Femia community

  • Can menopause affect libido?

    Yes, changes in the basic female hormonal levels can affect libido and make it harder to feel sexual drive and arousal. However, emotional closeness with a partner, exploration, experimentation, lifestyle adjustment, and other treatments can help improve it.

  • What are some natural ways to enhance libido after menopause?

    Regular exercise, even mild, improves blood flow and is linked to improved libido, sexual health, and satisfaction. Mental health also plays an important role in a woman’s sexuality, which is why practicing stress management techniques might also help. Lastly, women can consider complementing their diets with libido-boosting foods like oysters, dark chocolate, nuts, and strawberries to regain their sex drive.

  • Are there medications to help with sexual issues after menopause?

    Yes, there are medications, as well as HRT, that can help manage menopause symptoms and improve your sexual life. Consider consulting with your healthcare provider to explore the available options and receive personalized advice.

  • How can I deal with vaginal dryness during sex?

    Vaginal dryness can cause discomfort and make sexual intercourse more traumatic. Luckily, there are several remedies that help minimize these issues, such as lubricants (preferably water- and silicone-based ones), vaginal moisturizers, and estrogen topicals.

  • Is it normal to experience pain during sex after menopause?

    Pain during sex is rather common among menopausal women. It can occur because of vaginal dryness and thinning tissues that are easier to damage. To eliminate pain, consider using lubrication and other treatments for vaginal dryness. Also, consider getting personalized advice from a healthcare provider.

The bottom line

Menopause is accompanied by a range of hormonal and physical changes that may affect a woman’s quality of life and sexuality. However, it is possible to achieve a satisfying sex life and still orgasm after menopause by addressing symptoms like vaginal dryness, mental strain, and decreased libido.

Studies emphasize that women who take a positive approach to postmenopausal sex and focus on sexual satisfaction gain more benefits compared to females who focus on the limits of their sexual activity. Consider using the knowledge and tips from this guide to maintain emotional and physical intimacy with your partner, and enhance your sex life through exploration and experimenting. Finally, don’t hesitate to consult with a healthcare provider if you need more help finding a path to pleasure.

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