Does period sex make you more attached? Exploring the emotional and spiritual aspects
- Updated Dec 24, 2024
- Published
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Created with Nataliia Yermolovych, MD, Obstetrician-Gynecologist
Period sex can be a wonderful way to connect with your partner.
- Not only is it safe, but it can actually help ease cramps and boost your mood.
- Sharing this intimate experience often brings couples closer, encouraging open communication and building trust.
- Plus, the hormonal changes during your period might even enhance your emotional connection.
There’s no scientific basis for claims that it makes a partner “obsessed” though.
You may have encountered negative connotations associated with having sex on your period. Labeling it as “unsafe” or “dirty” can make you rethink the desire for some fun between the sheets while on your period.
So, it can be reassuring to know that period sex is completely safe, and it’s even encouraged to help alleviate the difficult symptoms you experience during PMS and your period. There are also psychological benefits, and having sex during your period might even make you and your partner feel closer. In this article, let’s take a look at the scientific and spiritual aspects of period sex bonding.
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Is there any science behind period sex and attachment?
There are many reasons women might want to avoid sex during their period—cramps, general unease, and the likelihood it could become a messy affair.
However, in a study of 100 married couples, only 36% of husbands and 19% of wives experienced sexual frustration on menstrual days. This study also showed that the wives’ orgasm rate stayed the same during their period as compared to other days in the cycle. So, staying sexually active while on your period is certainly possible, and it can even help couples feel more connected.
What causes bonding during period sex?
The hormonal changes your body undergoes during menstruation is key to enhanced feelings of attachment during period sex. As your period begins, hormones such as estrogen and progesterone fall, and follicular phase hormones such as FSH and LH slowly increase. A small study on the influence of reproductive hormones and romantic love showed higher levels of gonadotropin FSH and LH among women who were in love—the same hormones that elevate during your period.
Psychologically, the intimate nature of sexual intercourse facilitates bonding. During sex, you and your partner explore ways to make each other feel comfortable and pleasured, and this is especially important when dealing with period discomfort. One study has shown that women prioritize physical intimacy more as they age, over just penetrative intercourse, which can also help strengthen attachment during period sex.
Additionally, period sex can help ease the vulnerability that women may experience both with PMS and their periods. Amidst bloating, skin breakouts, and the whirlwind of evolving emotions, feeling sexy, desired, and loved can be empowering for your body image.
👉Find out more: Understanding and managing cramps after sex: causes and solutions
What are the psychological aspects of period sex?
On the days leading up to your period, your body image can change negatively as hormonal changes cause bloating, acne, and fatigue. You may also feel premenstrual mood changes, which can include irritability, vulnerability, and frustration. While a lot of these could be reasons you are not “in the mood,” having sex during your period can help improve these PMS symptoms.
For one, the symptoms of PMS don’t interfere with your sexual function. This means you are equally likely to enjoy sex and have an orgasm, even if you have changes in your mood before and during your menstruation.
After the first few days of your periods, when heavier bleeding and cramps are more common, your PMS symptoms also decrease. You may experience feeling lighter mentally and emotionally, making you more inclined to want sex while still on your period.
Regular sex enhances your emotional regulation with your partner, even while on your period. Period sex encourages you to discuss and incorporate ways to make both partners comfortable in an otherwise probably awkward situation. Over time you may even look forward to period sex bonding, knowing the positive psychological impact it has given you in the past.
Are there any spiritual and cultural beliefs around period sex?
In the past, the significant taboo surrounding menstruation and period sex was because menstrual blood was linked to disease and spiritual corruption. Additionally, female sexual pleasure and freedom has historically been painted in a negative light.
Today, however, with more education on what your period blood truly represents, 25% of women are likely to engage in sex on their periods. Current cultural and spiritual beliefs are working to unpack the stigma around period sex and create a new narrative where women are more in control of their sexual pleasure, even on their periods. Normalizing and informing people about menstruation as well as period sex can help discourage outdated stigmas about it being “wrong” or “unsafe.” Every time you have sex on your period, it will become more normal for you and your partner, as well, increasing intimacy and attachment.
👉Find out more: Vabbing: What it is and how it works
Does period sex make a man obsessed with you?
Becoming obsessed is relative and depends on several factors, not just whether you have sex with your partner during your period or not.
For you, period sex is going to be an intimate act you share with your partner. More so, since both you and your partner will be making adjustments for each other to ensure comfort. You should both be able to communicate pain, discomfort, or feelings of uneasiness while having sex, without the fear of being judged.
Along with encouraging communication, having regular sex during your period can make your partner feel more connected to you. Sharing such an intimate and vulnerable experience fosters a deeply emotional bond.
However, obsession related to period sex is unlikely and might tread on unhealthy boundaries of a relationship, especially if it is one-sided. Both sexual partners should feel comfortable, experience the desire and arousal for sex, and be open to exploring what works for them both. Being forced into sex, or feeling one is obsessed with period sex when the other may not be too keen on it, should encourage a discussion on personal boundaries in the relationship.
Period sex, like sex at any other time during your menstrual cycle, should be spontaneous, fun, and empowering.
Is period sex different from regular sex?
Hormones can affect how you experience sex both during and leading up to menstruation—both for better and worse.
For example, you are less likely to engage or be interested in sex just before or during your period. Sexual desire peaks during ovulation, just around the time your estrogen levels peak.
However, you may also observe an increase in your desire to have sex during your period, as your mood and physical symptoms of PMS start to decrease.
And, if you have had sex on your period before, you might have noticed that it helps with relieving discomfort and pain from cramps. This is mainly because of the pain-relieving endorphins released during sex, specifically when you orgasm. Period blood also works as a natural lubricant during sex, helping enhance pleasure, especially if you struggle with remaining wet during penetrative intercourse.
The only downside you may experience while having sex on your period is the leaking of blood on your sheets or furniture. This can be easily handled using a dark towel to prevent staining.
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Questions from the Femia community
Is it safe for me to have sex during my period?
Yes! It is safe for you to have sex during your period. While you are at an increased risk of sexually transmitted infections during your period, using a condom can help reduce this risk. Contraception is also recommended if you want to avoid pregnancy, as there is still a small chance of conceiving while on your period.
Will period sex help with my menstrual cramps?
For some women, period sex can help relieve cramps. The release of endorphins during sex, more commonly during an orgasm, can work as a pain reliever. Sex can also help alleviate a bad mood, which might go along with your period cramps.
How can I reduce the mess during period sex?
There are several ways you can do this. First, you can lay a dark towel on your bed or furniture during sex to prevent staining. Second, try exploring sexual positions that help reduce period flow. Finally, some tampons and even menstrual cups allow you to have sex even with one inserted, so you can consider exploring these options as well.
The bottom line
Periods and even sexual desire among women have often been seen through a negative lens. However, sex during your period is safe, and it is completely normal to feel an increased desire for sex during your period.
Period sex can increase attachment between partners, as it requires two people to openly communicate about their comfort, pleasure, and potentially how to deal with a little mess. In addition to relief from your irritable mood and period cramps, period sex can also help increase your emotional regulation with your partner. While encouraged, period sex is not for everyone, so it is also completely normal to not always be in the mood, more so if you are on your period. Do what feels right for you.
References
- Morris, Naomi M., and J. Richard Udry. “Menstruation and Marital Sex.” Journal of Biosocial Science, vol. 15, no. 2, Apr. 1983, pp. 173–81. https://doi.org/10.1017/s0021932000014462.
- Sorokowski, Piotr, et al. “Romantic Love and Reproductive Hormones in Women.” International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, vol. 16, no. 21, Oct. 2019, p. 4224. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph16214224.
- Chung, Ho Seok, et al. “Physical Intimacy Is an Important Part of Sexual Activities: Korean Older Adults Study.” Sexual Medicine, vol. 8, no. 4, Aug. 2020, pp. 643–49. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.esxm.2020.06.011.
- Conzatti, Maiara, et al. “Premenstrual Syndrome and Female Sexual Function.” Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, vol. 47, no. 2, Dec. 2020, pp. 186–96. https://doi.org/10.1080/0092623x.2020.1856988.
- Gudipally, Pratyusha R., and Gyanendra K. Sharma. “Premenstrual Syndrome.” StatPearls – NCBI Bookshelf, 17 July 2023, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK560698.
- Fischer, Vinicius Jobim, et al. “The Relationship Between Emotion Regulation and Sexual Function and Satisfaction: A Scoping Review.” Sexual Medicine Reviews, vol. 10, no. 2, Apr. 2022, pp. 195–208. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.sxmr.2021.11.004.
- Read, Sara. “‘Thy Righteousness Is but a Menstrual Clout’: Sanitary Practices and Prejudice in Early Modern England.” Early Modern Women an Interdisciplinary Journal, vol. 3, Sept. 2008, pp. 1–25. https://doi.org/10.1086/emw23541514.
- Tanfer, Koray, and Sevgi O. Aral. “Sexual Intercourse During Menstruation and Self-Reported Sexually Transmitted Disease History Among Women.” Sexually Transmitted Diseases, vol. 23, no. 5, Jan. 1996, pp. 395–401. https://doi.org/10.1097/00007435-199609000-00009.
- Allen, Katherine R., and Abbie E. Goldberg. “Sexual Activity During Menstruation: A Qualitative Study.” The Journal of Sex Research, vol. 46, no. 6, Nov. 2009, pp. 535–45. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224490902878977.
- Marcinkowska, Urszula M., et al. “Hormonal Underpinnings of the Variation in Sexual Desire, Arousal and Activity Throughout the Menstrual Cycle – a Multifaceted Approach.” The Journal of Sex Research, vol. 60, no. 9, Aug. 2022, pp. 1297–303. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2022.2110558.
- Lakhsassi, Lara, et al. “The Influence of Sexual Arousal on Subjective Pain Intensity During a Cold Pressor Test in Women.” PLoS ONE, vol. 17, no. 10, Oct. 2022, p. e0274331. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0274331.
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