How to masturbate: A woman’s guide to self-pleasure and orgasm

An illustration of a woman learning how to masturbate.
  • Updated Nov 29, 2024
  • Published

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In a nutshell

Masturbation is a natural and healthy process that holds multiple benefits for your sexual, physical, and mental health. If you’re wondering how to masturbate, the techniques can range significantly by pace, motion, use of different tools, and so on. The most important keys to pleasure are:

  • A comfortable environment
  • Patience and relaxation
  • Focus on one’s sensations
  • Openness to different experiences
  • Hygiene and safety

While, first of all, woman masturbation is absolutely natural and shouldn’t be stigmatized at all, we also have to acknowledge that it’s actually very beneficial. It helps ensure sexual wellness, promotes better body awareness, relieves stress, boosts mood, and it brings many other perks. Hence, it’s important for every woman to do it – for the sake of both self-exploration and health.

In this article, we’ll tell you more about the benefits of female masturbation and share tips on how to masturbate to feel comfortable and receive pleasure.

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Is woman masturbation a problem?

Surveys reveal that around 91% of men confirm engaging in solo play and about 78% of women do too. The numbers, albeit pretty high by default, demonstrate a lower number of masturbating individuals among females than among men, which is, however, not likely to be accurate.

In fact, the percentage of women who masturbate is likely to be higher. The percentage is lower among women solely due to the Sexual Double Standard (SDS) which creates societal pressure that either dissuades women from solo sexual adventures or creates barriers to being honest about it. Yet, the big truth is, that although this topic is often considered taboo, nearly all people masturbate, regardless of their sex or age, and it’s a natural process of sexuality and self-exploration.

Benefits of female masturbation

Women masturbation and sexual development

Apart from being an act of pleasure, masturbation is also an important act of self-exploration. With its help, young adults in their puberty can explore their bodies and responses to pleasure. This is a healthy part of maturation that helps promote sexual health, encourages relational intimacy, reduces unwanted pregnancy, and otherwise helps young people develop sexually. It might be especially important for young females, whose mechanisms of pleasure are more complicated than those in men. For women, solo self-exploration is a way to unlock their sexuality, understand their wants and needs, and hence, improve the quality of their sex and lives, in general.

Physical benefits of woman masturbation

Female masturbation also has a number of documented physical health benefits:

  • It stimulates enhanced blood flow toward the genitalia and pelvic area which can help reduce menstruation cramps and alleviate pelvic pain.
  • It is known to improve sexual health, for example, by reducing vaginal dryness and eliminating pain during sexual intercourse.
  • It can help boost libido, leading to more frequent and stronger orgasms.
  • It can boost focus and improve sleep quality.
  • Sometimes, it can even help relieve some pregnancy symptoms like lower back pain.

Mental benefits

Lastly, while masturbation seems to offer some sort of relief and tranquility to both men and women, a growing body of knowledge suggests that woman masturbation is actually a powerful psychological coping technique. A study conducted by Wehrli, F. S. V., Bodenmann, G. J., Clemen, J., & Weitkamp, K. and published in the International Journal of Sexual Health suggests that women who experience higher levels of stress on a daily basis tend to masturbate more frequently because this act, and clitoral stimulation, in particular, is shown to relieve psychological distress.

👉Find out more: Understanding female libido: Signs of a high sex drive in women

Female anatomy basics: Understanding pleasure points

Now that the benefits are clear, the big question is how to pleasure yourself as a woman. To answer this question, you need to understand that the mechanism of female orgasm is complex and individual. That is, there is no one-size-fits-all guide on reaching the peak of pleasure. Nevertheless, one thing that can help you find the answer is a deep understanding of your anatomy and pleasure points.

The key elements of female anatomy include:

A chart showing the key elements of female anatomy.
  • The vulva is the external part of the female genitalia. It consists of the outer lips (labia majora) and inner lips (labia minora). Both have nerve endings and can be sensitive to touch.
  • The clitoris is a tiny but highly sensitive organ that’s located at the top of the vulva. It has roughly 8,000 nerve endings, which makes it responsible for your pleasure.
  • Perineum is the space between your vulva and anus. It’s also rich in nerve endings, which makes it a good zone to stimulate during masturbation.

Additionally, there are also many other erogenous zones that might be sensitive to touch, including inner thighs, neck, breast, nipples, and many others. Feel free to use gentle touches to explore your pleasure zones and improve your solo play.

Creating a comfortable environment

Due to stigma and sexual double standards, masturbation can still be a somewhat uncomfortable and distressing act for some females, despite it being absolutely natural and healthy. In this context, an important part of pleasure is your peace of mind and relaxation, and typically, it comes through creating a comfortable environment, which is why preparation is an important part of our masturbation guide for women.

Here are some basic tips for creating the right setting:

  • Find a place where you’ll feel intimate and will have enough private space in order not to worry about being disturbed. It can also be good to turn off your phone to eliminate potential distractions.
  • Ensure you don’t have anything planned and have enough time booked for self-exploration. It’s important to feel unhurried during this process, as the time you will need to reach pleasure can vary depending on individual factors.
  • Create an atmosphere that stimulates desire and arousal. Such an atmosphere can consist of many different components depending on your likes. For example, you can use dim lights and candles, turn on sensitive music, use your favorite scenting oils for a nice aroma, etc.
  • Get yourself in the mood with things and rituals you love. Your first primary goal is to relax. For example, a massage or a hot bath with essential oils before your solo adventure can help.
  • Turn yourself on. When you’re ready to start, you can use numerous ways to turn yourself on, some of which include watching porn, reading erotica, or even daydreaming. Experiment with different options to see what turns you on. It’s also a good tip to wear some flattering outfits and/or lingerie that make you look and feel sexy.

Techniques and tips for female masturbation

Masturbation is an exciting journey to exploring your sexuality and pleasure. However, when just beginning on this path, it might be unclear what you should do. Here are some general female masturbation instructions that should help you get started:

  • Follow the tips provided earlier to prepare for your solo play and create the perfect environment.
  • Prepare lubrication and toys (if any) that you would like to use. Be sure to use lubrication regardless of whether you are using toys or not because it helps reduce friction and increase comfort.
  • Start exploring your overall sensitive areas, such as your inner thighs, breasts, and nipples. Start with light, teasing touches with your hands, fingers, and nails. Consider using gliding and circular motions to get yourself going.
  • When you feel aroused, slowly move to other erogenous zones, such as the labia and perineum. Start gently massaging these areas to get the blood flowing and focus on what feels nice to explore your sensitivity.
  • When ready, locate your clitoris and start slowly stimulating it. Common techniques include circular motions, up-and-down/side-to-side movement, and pulsing touches. Experiment with different motions to find the perfect one.
  • When you’re up and going, focus on your feelings and adjust the pace, pressure, rhythm, positions, and other elements of your play.
  • Gradually add toys and try advanced techniques, such as those that stimulate squirting. Be open to experiments to explore your pleasure to the maximum and remember that you’re the only one who’s setting the boundaries in the process.

👉Find out more: Is it safe to have sex while on your period? Everything you need to know

How to masturbate to orgasm

Female orgasm can be tricky and take time to achieve. So in order to learn to achieve the peak of pleasure during your solo sessions, you have to focus on the process and sensations first. Give yourself time, be patient, and don’t rush anywhere because attaining orgasm may not happen instantly.

Additionally, some tips for building up to orgasm include:

  • Always create a comfortable, intimate environment and set the right mood.
  • Focus on your arousal and use fantasies and/or additional instruments like porn to turn yourself on.
  • Breathe deeply to relax and enhance sensitivity.
  • Listen to your body to find what feels best and focus on those areas or movements.
  • Change the hand placement, rhythm, and speed to get to the maximum excitement and naturally pick up the pace to orgasm. Also, consider trying such masturbation techniques as edging. This is the practice of stopping yourself from reaching the orgasm when you are on the peak and then continuing stimulation again. You can do this multiple times during your solo play to achieve stronger orgasms.

Experimenting with toys and tools

Women masturbation can be practiced without any extra tools, solely with your hands. However, toys and tools can bring additional excitement and let you experiment with different techniques to achieve even greater sensations.

Some common types of sex toys you can try include:

  • Vibrators (including clitoral, g-spot, bullet, and dual-action) are used to stimulate different parts of your body with vibrations of different intensity levels.
  • Dildos are non-vibrating toys used for penetration.
  • Personal massagers and wands are used externally to stimulate your clitoris or other erogenous zones.
  • Suction toys are also used for clitoris stimulation but, unlike vibrators, they create a suction sensation instead of using vibration.
  • Kegel balls are initially designed for training and strengthening pelvic floor muscles, however, they can also be used creatively to enhance arousal and improve your solo play. Additionally, it’s possible to combine exercises with Kegel balls with reverse Kegel training to let yourself explore the full range of contraction and relaxation of your pelvic floor muscles and enhance pleasure.

You can experiment with any of these toys to find what works best for you. Just keep in mind the core safety rules when incorporating new tools:

  • Choose quality toys made with body-safe materials.
  • Use, clean, and store toys as suggested by the manufacturer.
  • Use enough lubrication (ensure it’s compatible with the toy’s material) and start slowly.
  • Always listen to your sensations and respect your limits. Some toys, vibrators in particular, are linked to the risks of lowering the sensitivity of your clitoris caused by too strong stimulation. Desensitization has been reported by 16.5% of women who have ever used a vibrator so it’s important to use sex toys moderately and listen to your body to prevent too strong stimulation.

Self-care and hygiene tips

Safety might not be the most fun but it’s an incredibly important part of our female masturbation guide. Although masturbation is generally safe, it might potentially lead to issues when done with insufficient self-care.

Here are the three core tips to stay safe:

  • Always wash your hands and toys before and after masturbation to prevent infections.
  • Make sure the toys’ material and lubrication are compatible.
  • Only do what feels comfortable and never rush yourself.
Curious about sex and intimacy?

Femia helps millions of women understand their bodies and sexual health

Try Femia now

Questions from the Femia community

  • Is it normal if I don’t orgasm during masturbation?

    Yes, it’s absolutely normal. Every woman’s body and sexuality are unique and some females may respond differently to masturbation or take more time to orgasm. However, if this doesn’t happen right away, there is no need to worry because it’s possible to learn how to masturbate to orgasm with time and patience.

  • How can I overcome feelings of guilt about masturbation?

    Masturbation is an absolutely natural and healthy process of exploring one’s sexuality and supporting physical and mental health. It’s an important part of a healthy and quality life. Hence, learning more about this process and its benefits, as well as treating it as an important self-care ritual, can help reduce guilt.

  • Can masturbation improve my experience with a partner?

    Yes, masturbation can offer a number of benefits for your relationships and sexual experience with a partner. First and foremost, it stimulates self-exploration that helps you see what you like and how you receive the most pleasure. This can help you heighten your pleasure during sex, while also taking your intimacy and communication with a partner to the next level.

  • Are there health risks associated with female masturbation?

    Generally, no. Masturbation is a healthy and safe process. However, it’s important to adhere to the basic hygiene rules and use toys safely to ensure no damage.

  • What should I do if I feel discomfort during masturbation?

    If you are experiencing any physical discomfort, it’s best to stop and check for potential issues. Sometimes, it may require seeing a doctor if pain or discomforting feelings persist.

The bottom line

Being a topic suppressed by stigma and bias, masturbation still remains an uncomfortable and even shameful act for some females, though it doesn’t have to be. As you now know, female masturbation is an absolutely natural process that enhances sexual life, as well as mental and physical health. And we need to spread awareness about this topic and its benefits to get rid of the sexual double standard.

So how to masturbate if you are a woman? After reading our complete female masturbation tutorial, you should know that there are many techniques that can help you achieve pleasure. The most important tip we shared with you is that no two female bodies are the same. That is, the path to reaching pleasure might be different for each of you, which is why patience, positivity, and self-exploration are the keys to success!

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